“I hope I die warmed by the life that I tried to live.”
Gina DeShong, Flint, Michigan 2023
This interview was done at The Disability Network in Flint, Michigan in May 2023 where Gina is the Program Director. She is a stroke survivor, avid reader and hometown girl.
For more Portraits of Persons with Disabilities interviews, click here.
Laura:
What is your name?
Gina:
Gina Deshawn.
Laura:
And Gina, how old are you?
Gina:
59.
Laura:
Okay, and what are your preferred pronouns?
Gina:
She/her.
Laura:
Would you mind sharing about your disability?
Gina:
No. A little over a year ago, I had a stroke. So, I have to use a cane sometimes, but it's getting better. And I also have high blood pressure, diabetes, and asthma that at times can be crippling.
Laura:
Have you had that your whole life?
Gina:
No. I developed it in my 20s from smoke inhalation.
Laura:
Was it like people smoking around you or was there...?
Gina:
I was working in a restaurant and the hoods broke. We didn't realize it, and I just started making a funny noise. I didn't know why I was doing that. Then my mother said, 'I think you're having an asthma attack.' So we went to the hospital, and sure enough. It's been a while, but I manage it pretty well. But I cannot be around smoke or popcorn. People cooking popcorn is my biggest trigger. If I go to the movies, my friends have to go in and check the conditions.
Laura:
Oh my gosh, that sounds frustrating. When you do have an asthma attack, do you have to go to the hospital or use a nebulizer?
Gina:
I have a nebulizer and rescue inhalers. It's very seldom that I have to seek treatment now because I know how to handle it myself.
Laura:
That's good.
Gina:
But it wasn't always that way.
Laura:
Have the wildfires, the Canadian wildfires, affected you at all?
Gina:
No.
Laura:
Happy to hear. And so, what do you like to do for fun?
Gina:
For fun? My number one thing is reading. I love to read and travel. My siblings all live, except for one, in Columbus, Ohio. So, I enjoy hanging out with my brothers and sister.
Laura:
That's great. Has having to use a cane now, has that impacted your ability to travel?
Gina:
No, I think people are funny. They see the cane and they're a lot kinder. They respond to it with 'Do you want to sit here?' and 'Are you okay?' I get that a lot. But I'm very independent. I think people are kinder.
Laura:
I've noticed when I use a mobility aid, yeah, people, they see you a lot more.
Gina:
And they want to help. They want you to be okay.
Laura:
Is there a favorite destination that you've traveled to?
Gina:
My favorite place was Jamaica. I would like to go back there.
Laura:
I hear Jamaica is beautiful.
Gina:
It is. The people are beautiful. The island was beautiful. It was just so much fun.
Laura:
How long were you there for?
Gina:
A week.
Laura:
What motivates or inspires you?
Gina:
I think it was the way I was raised. My parents and grandparents would say, 'Just keep trying, keep pushing. You have to sign what you do with excellence.' And also, being a black woman and then I've always been a big girl. My mom always said to me, 'You have to do better because they think big people are a certain way.' And, ‘They don't need to see you as that, they need to see you as more.’ So, the memory of my parents and my grandparents and I just want to do what's right. And it helps me because every day I get up and pray, 'Let me be a blessing to someone today, just someone.' And so that's what motivates me in this job. And then I have a team. I have the biggest team here. So, I can't fall apart because people depend on me and that's important to me.
Laura:
You have quite the leadership role. It sounds like you were primed for this though with your upbringing and stuff. Are you from Michigan originally?
Gina:
Yep, born and raised here. I live in the house I grew up in. Yeah, I live outside of Flint in Mount Morris, but I'm from Flint, born and raised, and I went to Beecher High School. Are you familiar with Beecher?
Laura:
No, we're from Chicago. So, there's a Beecher, Illinois, I'm familiar with.
Gina:
Okay. It's the community I grew up in, we're very close. I was in a meeting this week, and there was a girl from Beecher there. And she says, 'Bucks for life,' and that's what we always do.
Laura:
That's great. Yeah, I kind of wish I had that. I like the people I grew up with. But then yeah, when we went to high school everybody went separate ways. I would have loved to stay with everyone. Did you say it was a Bucks for life or bugs?
Gina:
Bucks.
Laura:
Do like a lot of people who you grew up with, are they still around in the community?
Gina:
Yes.
Laura:
Because everyone really enjoyed it?
Gina:
Yeah, no, everyone didn't run away. A lot of us came back.
Laura:
Yeah, that really says a lot about the place you grew up. How did you end up working here, at the Disability Network?
Gina:
I used to work at Michigan Rehabilitation Services, and I was a job developer. So, I would teach classes to people. Job writing skills. Luke would come over there for meetings and stuff. One day, he sat in one of my job classes, and afterward he came up to me and said, 'I need you to come work for me.' And that's how I ended up here.
Laura:
Do you miss teaching classes or not?
Gina:
No.
Laura:
Yeah. Do you feel like a leadership role is where you thrive?
Gina:
Yeah.
Laura:
Yeah, it seems like that.
Gina:
I'm kind of a take-charge kind of person, I don't know if that's good or bad. But that's who I am.
Laura:
I think people need that. Yeah, that's awesome. You said you'd like to read. What do you like to read?
Gina:
Well, my favorite genre is urban fantasy. I love urban fantasy. And I like mysteries a lot.
Laura:
Yeah, me too. I like a page-turner, keeps me involved.
Gina:
And I like series, because I like to know the characters and get to know them and get involved. I love a series.
Laura:
Yeah. Is there a series you recommend?
Gina:
I'm trying to think, my favorite one is by Seanan McGuire. And it's the October Daye series. It's an urban fantasy. It's one of my favorites.
Laura:
I'll have to look into that. I'm in a book club and we're always looking… Do you take turns picking?
Gina:
Yeah.
Laura:
Is it a bigger book club?
Gina:
Not really. It's about 10.
Laura:
Oh, okay. Yeah, ours is 4, and only two of us read, the other two don't really, haha. We do it more to socialize.
Gina:
We usually do it on Zoom, sometimes we meet at the library. I like when we meet at the library, but they're out of the state, a couple of people, in Detroit a couple of people. So, it was just too hard. I love reading. My house is full of books. So, I'm trying to organize them now.
Laura:
Yeah. Did you ever do the color organization like the rainbow?
Gina:
No, but I love the way that looks.
Laura:
Yeah, I tried that once. It looks better in magazines. I don’t think I had enough colorful book covers.
Gina:
Yeah, and I don't like to give books away. My uncle's always like, 'Why don’t you stack them up and put a mattress on top of them or something?' So I'm like, 'Uncle Jimmy, really?'
Laura:
Yeah, they're my prizes.
Gina:
Yeah, they are useful to sit down to show. I managed a bookstore when I was younger and it was such a great experience.
Laura:
Really? Would you go back to do that if you could, or do you like what you’re doing?
Gina:
If it paid enough, yeah, I think I would, but, you know, retail.
Laura:
I just created a whole fantasy world for you, where you're the manager of a bookstore, it's perfect retail, and you get paid a lot of money.
Gina:
I worked in women's fashion too, for over 20 years. I just stopped that about four years ago. I always had two jobs.
Laura:
Yeah, I was gonna say were you doing that and this? You like to work?
Gina:
Yeah, I do like to work. Yeah, I'm single. I don't have kids. So it gave me some focus. I'm a doggy mom. He’s so naughty. But yeah, I'm a doggy mom.
Laura:
What kind of dog?
Gina:
He's a dachshund and shih tzu mix. My other dachshund died about a month and a half ago. I had her for 15 years. I have a picture of her in my office. She was so beautiful and so sweet. Her name was TeeTee, and she was the opposite of Rocky. Rocky is just bark, bark, bark.
Laura:
Is Rocky younger than…?
Gina:
Yeah, I got him from rescue. I just asked for a background check, but I love him.
Laura:
Yeah. Animals are nice to have around. And I like a little dog.
Gina:
I like big dogs too. My brother has a rottweiler, Bear Bear, but it's just too much to handle.
Laura:
Yeah. The dog you can control. It's kind of like a cat but more friendly. I got off topic. Alright, the final question of the interview is what change would you like to see for disabled people in the future?
Gina:
I would like people to be viewed for their abilities, not for their disabilities. People are so judgmental, and I would like to see that change. Don't see my cane, see me. You know, find out about me, what I like, what I can do.
Laura:
See the whole person rather.
Gina:
Yes, and I want people with disabilities to think of themselves like that. When people call here and they start out like, 'I'm disabled, you have to help me,' that is so hard for me. It's not a privileged class. And I'm right there with you.
Laura:
Yeah, that is interesting about disability, a lot of people just have different attitudes towards it, and just people with disabilities.
Gina:
Yeah, and people with disabilities think they should get more because they have a disability. That's not necessarily true.
Laura:
And thoughts like that are why people get mad at people with disabilities.
Gina:
Yeah, that's it. And, you know, you are talking to a black woman. I come from a different place, you know. So it's hard.
Laura:
Yeah, like, to see that entitlement all the time?
Gina:
Yeah.
Laura:
Yeah, I'd imagine. But that's good, though. That's why you're in charge. You're like, I'm not buying it.
Gina:
No. You have to try. Please try.
Laura:
Yeah, because not everyone's gonna do it for you. And then it makes you think about how these people were raised. If a family's treating the disabilities like you don't have to do anything for yourself and the family should do everything for you, they're just not doing anyone any favors.
Gina:
It reminds me, my grandfather used to say to me all the time, 'Baby, you're beautiful and so smart. Don't let anybody change that.'
Laura:
It's good. Yeah, you get support, but also like higher expectations for yourself.
Gina:
Yes, exactly.
Laura:
And that’s what disabled people need.
Gina:
Yes.
Laura:
So, I’m glad you're in charge. Alright. Well, excellent. Anything else you want to throw out there in the interview?
Gina:
You said you want to quote?
Laura:
Well, yeah, so I'm going to put a quote from the interview next to your portrait. So, even if you have an inspiring quote that you'd like to say or just what you want your quote to be, you can speak it, can go with that.
Gina:
Maya Angelou said, 'I can be changed by what happens to me but I don't have to be reduced by it.' That is something I think about and live by, but my number one quote, by Nikki Giovanni, I got to meet her a couple months ago.
Laura:
I don’t know who Nikki Giovanni is?
Gina:
She was, is, a famous poet and writer, she’s still alive. She said, 'I hope that when I die, I am warmed by the life I tried to live.' That's my favorite quote in the whole world and I got her to sign it a couple months ago. I'm gonna have it framed. Yeah, I love that. That's been it for years. That's been my number one quote.
Laura:
Did you say, I'm warmed or mourned?
Gina:
Warmed.
Laura:
Okay, that’s what I thought you said but then I just wanted to make sure.
Gina:
Isn’t that wonderful?
Laura:
Yeah.
Gina:
I hope when I die, because you know, when people die, people say, all this, oh, they're so wonderful after they die. Think it while I'm here, you know? So, yeah.
Laura:
I like that. We’ll put that one next to it.
Gina:
You might have to look it up, because I hope that I said it totally correctly.
Laura:
Okay. Yeah, yeah, I'll double check. Okay. Excellent.