Laura Suprenant Photography

View Original

Portraits of Persons with Disabilities: Patricia Alexander

Patricia Alexander, Bipolar, 2023

Your browser doesn't support HTML5 audio

Patricia Alexander, Bipolar, Chemical Imbalance Laura Suprenant / Patricia Alexander

Laura: What is your name? 

Patricia: Patricia Alexander. 

Laura: Patricia, how old are you? 

Patricia: I just turned 68. 

Laura: I hope I look like you when I’m 68. What are your preferred pronouns? 

Patricia: We. 

Laura: Would you mind sharing about your disability? 

Patricia: My disability started to appear when I was around 28, a little bit after I had my second child. I've struggled with it for a number of years because I was in denial. Plus, I was high functioning so it didn't pan out too much, at first. And then I got on medications that I could handle, after grilling my doctor. Because before that the meds had me zombied out. So I got to where uh she would prescribe the dosage where I was functionable, at work. 

Laura: Okay. 

Patricia: And I could go back to work after sick leave, although she said that I would never go back to work. 

Laura: Really? 

Patricia: But I retired in 2017, from Consumers Energy. 

Laura: You worked a long time.

Patricia: I put in gas lines for eight years, and then after that I did the gas meters and running gas emergencies, and uh stuff like that, you know, putting gas meters on the house initially, taking them off when you’re done or shutting them down, or… I worked in gas all while I was at Consumers. 

Laura: Wow. So can I ask, do you have an official diagnosis? 

Patricia: Yes, um at first, I was kind of bipolar. And then she just said it’s a chemical imbalance. She just summed it all up. And said; ‘You have a chemical imbalance’. 

Laura: I gotcha. 

Patricia: You know, instead of labels. 

Laura: Yeah. I have some people in my life who have the bipolar label, but it does seem like it's not always the perfect fit. 

Patricia: No, it's not. One thing is not because you could transition. 

Laura: Oh, yeah?

Patricia: You know? You could transition to something else. 

Laura: Yeah, and like you said, like, it sounds like getting your medications right, kind of, did it change things for you? 

Patricia: Oh, it took years. Because at first, like I said, I was zombied out. And then I gained about 30 or 40 pounds. So, trying to get her to understand, look. And then it took years for them to even inform me that after I'd been on my medication for three or four months my body would adjust to the uneasiness feeling, the feeling of antsiness.

Laura: Yeah.

Patricia: I started smoking, because of that. 

Laura: Really?

Patricia: Yeah. Oh, man. This was awful, but they did prescribe me benzotropine or uh that's the generic name for it, that keeps you calm. But you don't have to take it off continually. 

Laura: Oh, that’s nice. 

Patricia: It just calms you until your body adjusts to your medication. 

Laura: Oh, interesting. I didn't know about that. Um like good for you for persevering through those medication changes. That's hard. 

Patricia: Oh, man. I had the support of my family, and so that made me different. 

Laura: Yeah, you’re definitely different. 

Patricia: Oh, my son, my sister, my daughter. I had all that support, and without it, I don't know where I'd be. I might be homeless on the street or something. I don't know. 

Laura: I know. I think for people with all disabilities, yeah, like your family and your network are so, so important. 

Patricia: It's the key. 

Laura: Yeah, it is. You're exactly right. Yeah. I’m glad you have a good support system. 

Patricia: Yeah, because they could have just disowned me. 

Laura: Yeah. 

Patricia: She’s crazy, too much, lock her up.

Laura: Uh huh. 

Patricia: Like, and throw away the key. 

Laura: Yeah.

Patricia: You know, that type of thing. I probably could have been in jail because years later, they closed down all the institutions. 

Laura: Oh really? 

Patricia: And kicked them out on the street. 

Laura: Were you getting support from any of those institutions?

Patricia: No, I spent three months in Ypsilanti, all for one skit. And then a lot of, until I got several of my medications in and out of Hurley. 

Laura: How was that? Was that just a headache? Or? 

Patricia: Um it was a cakewalk. 

Laura: Yeah?

Patricia: They treat you pretty good. 

Laura: Oh, that's good. 

Patricia: Yeah, they treat you, except for one nurse who’s like; ‘Well, if you get better, I'm out of a job’. So, you know? That was such a negative attitude.

Laura: Yeah.

Patricia: But that was just one lady and I only encountered that one time in my life. 

Laura: That's good. 

Patricia: Yeah. Other than that the facilities were excellent. 

Laura: Oh, I'm happy to hear that. 

Patricia: Yeah. It's just getting the medication right, you know. But to stay? Oh, man, the food was good. 

Laura: Oh, nice. 

Patricia: It was like being on vacation. 

Laura: Oh, I'm so happy to hear that, because you never know. 

Patricia: Ypsilanti had all kinds of stuff. I mean, from hair salons to barbers. We went out all the time, like bowling and stuff like that. It was just awesome facility. 

Laura: Oh good. You need that too, while you're trying to get your meds right. 

Patricia: Yeah, you do. You do need that uh, that support. 

Laura: Yes, exactly. Well, let me ask you, what do you like to do for fun? 

Patricia: Ah, I like to mingle from time to time. I go to the psychosocial rehab, which was initially when I started called Rainbow Connection. And these people while I was on sick leave, they helped organize to get my job back in Consumers Energy. 

Laura: Oh great. That's awesome. 

Patricia: Yes. Yes. It was great. Like I said, support. 

Laura: Yeah. 

Patricia: Support. Cos, like I said, my doctor was like; ‘Well, you never go back’. You know? 

Laura: Yeah. 

Patricia: And I was like; ‘Oh, yes, I will’. You know, I was determined. Cos I was like; ‘I can't live off the $700’. 

Laura: True. Yeah.

Patricia: This is crazy. My rent is $600. How they expect me to survive? 

Laura: Exactly.

Patricia: I can't even buy shoes or get my hair done. You know, it was awful. But um Rainbow Connection is now called Legacy Center. 

Laura: Okay. 

Patricia: And they have uh outings, socializing, groups. And they're geared toward getting you back to work and work in the community. So, they have programs like TEP, uh temporary employment positions to get your feet wet. You know, if you haven't been, and then uh they even help you get a permanent job in the community, but they're geared around socializing and work. 

Laura: That's awesome. 

Patricia: They help with other stuff too. Like if you need help with uh trying to find a place to live and stuff like that, emergencies that come up. 

Laura: Wow.

Patricia: They deal with those. You know, because they have case managers now. Yeah. And we cook. They have lunch at 11:30 from Monday through Friday, they're open. Yeah. So that's like a little gathering. You help in the kitchen, you help clean the clubhouse all kinds of responsibility. 

Laura: Yeah, responsibility. 

Patricia: Yeah. And I'm an alumni. That's what they call someone that's kind of retired from the community. 

Laura: And is that like in Flint? 

Patricia: It’s right down the street on Dort Highway. 705, I think it's south Dort Highway. Yeah. They got artwork all over the building. So cool. It's real nice. 

Laura: Yeah, that's awesome. 

Patricia: And plus, I'm on the board of Genesis Health System. We had a meeting today, but they canceled. Which is okay. I can go home. And well, it's only at four. 

Laura: Gotcha.

Patricia: So I can go home from here. So instead of going hanging out down there for a meeting. 

Laura: That's great. What’s it gonna be like when you move to Alabama, are you going to be sad to leave? It sounds like you've got such a community. 

Patricia: I'll be heartbroken, but I'm going to rebound. I'm sure because they have a tablet that they uh distributed to most of the members a couple of years ago, two or three years ago when COVID broke out. So, I'll be able to hook up to my daughter's internet and zoom into a lot of the different activities, here [The Disability Network in Flint] and at the Legacy Center. 

Laura: Oh okay, awesome. You're gonna be such an asset to Alabama. Like everything you know. 

Patricia: Well I’m having a grandbaby. I’m excited. 

Laura: Yeah. That'll fill your time up. 

Patricia: Right. It really will.

Laura: Do you know if she's having a boy or a girl? 

Patricia: Not yet. 

Laura: Okay. 

Patricia: We want a boy. 

Laura: Yeah, really? 

Patricia: Just get the hair cut. 

Laura: Yeah. 

Patricia: You ain’t got to sit there and try to comb hair. 

Laura: That’s true. 

Patricia: So we said it'd probably be easier to just have a little tumbling around boy that wants to get out and get into stuff. 

Laura: I hear they are easier.

Patricia: Yeah.

Laura: His family's [gesturing to Laura’s husband] got all boys so they're hoping for a girl but I don't know. I hear they are a handful.

Patricia: Well I do have a grandson, so I won't be slighted either way. But he's 28. 

Laura: Oh, okay.

Patricia: You know. No news is really worn off. He's my only grandson but come on, he’s 28 years old.

Laura: Yeah. He can pass the torch on. 

Patricia: Right, right, right, right. Right. 

Laura: Um alright. Well, my next question is what motivates or inspires you? 

Patricia: Uh I was raised Baptist, and that's grounded in me. So my dad kind of let me know; ‘You know, my job is to go to work to take care of you. Your job is not to socialize in school, but to get good grades so you can take care of yourself when you get old’. So that inspired me initially, because at first I thought life was just a social club. 

Laura: Yeah. I think I was a little guilty of that.

Patricia: And what else inspires me is life in general. 

Laura: Yeah?

Patricia: I’m, I'm, I’m not religious, but I am spiritual. I believe there's a God. I just don't believe that you have to follow certain rules and regulations. And I believe in morality because I think God is good. So, you have to have some type of morality. And all of that inspires me just to do the best I can, or be the best I can be and take a break from that every now and then. You know? 

Laura: I think that’s important too.

Patricia: Oh the day I’ll be a bomb. You know, that type of thing. 

Laura: Yeah. I mean, even God rested.

Patricia: Right, right. 

Laura: 7th day, you know? 

Patricia: Right. Even though, yeah, that's what the book says. 

Laura: Yeah. I hear you. Alright, well, the last question is what change would you like to see for disabled people in the future? 

Patricia: The stigma. 

Laura: Yeah. 

Patricia: You know? Dealing with that stigma. Oh, man, you know, you know because, you know, at work, I disclose to a few people, but they would, you know, I had one that he would just tease, and then when he became diabetic I said; ‘I’ll tell you what you go off your meds, I'll go off my meds, we'll see who lasts long’. That gave him a lot to think about. 

Laura: Yeah, it is kind of wild. That's the thing with disabilities. Like well, anyone can join this community at any time. 

Patricia: Yeah, at any time. You know, break a leg or whatever. 

Laura: You really never know. 

Patricia: You never know. 

Laura: It’s around the corner. 

Patricia: You never know. 

Laura: You hope those services and tolerance are waiting for you on the other side. So yeah. Alright. Well, that was our interview. You nailed it. Thank you!